Bulletstorm: Review

Where do I begin? At first I thought this game was suppose to be mindless, stupid fun that had you kill baddies by shooting them in the balls and expecting us to think that was the most hilarious thing we've done in a shooter. Don't get me wrong, Bulletstorm pulls off shooting mutants in the balls quite well. But the cliched, juvenile story, and unique, but short lived Skillshot system, gave me mindless, stupid boredom instead.

You play as Grayson Hunt, a foul mouthed space pirate who can pull off a really good Wolverine impersonation. Grayson and his pals, two gentlemen that die in the first ten minutes of the game and a lovable cyborg sidekick, are in constant chase of General Sarrato, Another foul mouthed bloke who tricked you into killing innocent civilians.After smashing your spaceship through the General's, Grayson finds himself on a once resort planet, that is now overrun by mutants. Lucky for Grayson, Sarrato's ship also crash lands on the planet. From there it's a 6-7 hour trek to the General's crash ship, and a way off the planet.

You maybe thinking, as I did myself, "Gee, haven't I heard this story before?" The answer is yes, only this time the script seems to have been writing by a bunch of twelve year old boys who just discovered the joys of curse words. This inevitably leads to all the characters calling each other horrible names, such as "Dicktits" and "Fuck Monkey". There was one point where a character threaten to "Kill my dick". They try to change this up from you average shooter by making the only women in the game not a damsel in distress or fall in love with the main character just because of his wicked sideburns. this would be find if they didn't cram down our the throat that she IS a women and she ain't gonna let any man rescue you her. This of course leads to every scene with her in it trying to prove that she can play with the big boys, by constantly calling Grayson names.

But lets get to the main selling point of the game, Skillshots. Skillshots are points you get for killing the mutants that inhabit the planet in "Skillful" ways. There is one Skillshot where I had to hit a enemy, get behind him, and shoot him in the arse. Another example is one where you have to shoot a mutant in the balls and when he's on his knees begging for his life, you shoot him in the head. Sure, maybe these were funny the first time you did it. Or maybe the discovery of finding new ways to mutilate mutant is all part of the fun. But after your twentieth "Bullet Slide" or fourteenth "Shocker", the entire gimmick seems to lose it's appeal. The main problem I had with this system is they give you a arsenal of varied weapons, ranging from your standard assault rifle, to a gun that shoots cannonballs, but the most effective way to rack up the points is using  the same old skills and guns you used in the first two acts. It's not the fact that the game runs out of intresting ways to kill a dude, it's just that by the end of the game you already have a pattern that reaps the points in just as well as trying new things.  

In the end, Bulletstorm is a game that has a cliched story, riddled with ridiculous curse words, with a gimmick that will feel tired and old about halfway through.

Score: 2/5

Darksiders: Review

What happens when you mix the structure of The legend of Zelda, The art style of World of Warcraft and the combat of God of War? You get Darksiders, a game so full of ideas and mechanics from other popular games that you're left wondering if you playing a brand new game from 2010, or a greatest hits compilation of the past decade.

The game takes place during the aftermath of the apocalypse. Humans are all but extinct and the world is now populated by angels and demons. You play as War, one of the four horsemen, set on a quest to clear your name of cause said apocalypse. From then on you go around the world with, oh let's just called him Navi, as you set out to explore dungeons, fight bosses and eventually rip out there hearts. (Sound familiar?)

The combat in Darksiders can be summed up in one word, Meh. Most of the time you'll be mashing the X (Or Square) button and occasionally press the Y (Or Triangle) when you get bored. The game features a variety of weapons, including a handgun, a Scythe and, well, a portal gun. but like some games it suffers from "The first weapon is the best weapon" syndrome. By the end of the game you'll completely forget you had other weapon, until a puzzle comes along that requires one.

Darksiders, graphically, looks amazing. The heavily influence World of Warcraft style is extremely well rendered in High Definition. If you ever wondered what WoW would like if it was made today, this is as close as it gets. Unfortunately when this game was originally released, it suffered from a huge amount of tearing. But a recent patch has fix most of it.

Darksiders is a game for those seeking a dark story full of colourful characters and plot twists that will keep you entertained for a good 12 hours. Unfortunately for those looking for anything unique and revolutionary, this is not the game for you.

Score: 3/5