Where do I begin? At first I thought this game was suppose to be mindless, stupid fun that had you kill baddies by shooting them in the balls and expecting us to think that was the most hilarious thing we've done in a shooter. Don't get me wrong, Bulletstorm pulls off shooting mutants in the balls quite well. But the cliched, juvenile story, and unique, but short lived Skillshot system, gave me mindless, stupid boredom instead.
You play as Grayson Hunt, a foul mouthed space pirate who can pull off a really good Wolverine impersonation. Grayson and his pals, two gentlemen that die in the first ten minutes of the game and a lovable cyborg sidekick, are in constant chase of General Sarrato, Another foul mouthed bloke who tricked you into killing innocent civilians.After smashing your spaceship through the General's, Grayson finds himself on a once resort planet, that is now overrun by mutants. Lucky for Grayson, Sarrato's ship also crash lands on the planet. From there it's a 6-7 hour trek to the General's crash ship, and a way off the planet.
You maybe thinking, as I did myself, "Gee, haven't I heard this story before?" The answer is yes, only this time the script seems to have been writing by a bunch of twelve year old boys who just discovered the joys of curse words. This inevitably leads to all the characters calling each other horrible names, such as "Dicktits" and "Fuck Monkey". There was one point where a character threaten to "Kill my dick". They try to change this up from you average shooter by making the only women in the game not a damsel in distress or fall in love with the main character just because of his wicked sideburns. this would be find if they didn't cram down our the throat that she IS a women and she ain't gonna let any man rescue you her. This of course leads to every scene with her in it trying to prove that she can play with the big boys, by constantly calling Grayson names.
But lets get to the main selling point of the game, Skillshots. Skillshots are points you get for killing the mutants that inhabit the planet in "Skillful" ways. There is one Skillshot where I had to hit a enemy, get behind him, and shoot him in the arse. Another example is one where you have to shoot a mutant in the balls and when he's on his knees begging for his life, you shoot him in the head. Sure, maybe these were funny the first time you did it. Or maybe the discovery of finding new ways to mutilate mutant is all part of the fun. But after your twentieth "Bullet Slide" or fourteenth "Shocker", the entire gimmick seems to lose it's appeal. The main problem I had with this system is they give you a arsenal of varied weapons, ranging from your standard assault rifle, to a gun that shoots cannonballs, but the most effective way to rack up the points is using the same old skills and guns you used in the first two acts. It's not the fact that the game runs out of intresting ways to kill a dude, it's just that by the end of the game you already have a pattern that reaps the points in just as well as trying new things.
In the end, Bulletstorm is a game that has a cliched story, riddled with ridiculous curse words, with a gimmick that will feel tired and old about halfway through.
Score: 2/5
